2014 New Year's Not-Resolutions

One of the benefits of having a birthday between Christmas and the New Year is that it is a splendid time to sit with a cup of coffee and a notebook and ponder the year gone and the year coming.

I looked over my not-resolutions from last year and one by one I checked them off.

Lose weight. Check.

Get my tattoo. Check.

Read 24 books. Check.

Read my Bible every work day. Shockingly, check.

Write more. Well, that’s always the first thing to go when the stress is on, isn’t it?

I came up with a list for 2014 which is essentially more of the same. Looking it over, I thought about the point of all this list making and ponderings. I believe with every fiber of my person that there is a woman that God has intended me to be. In my current understanding, she is kind and full of grace and manages to be chill through the storms of life, always making time for her people and her art. That understanding might change, but the point of the New Year’s not-resolutions and the lists and the ponderings is to be intentional about taking another step towards being that woman.

Taking another look at my list, I’ve decided that yes, those  are areas I want to be more intentional about. I’m a little nervous about sharing the list here for some reason, but since Number 3 on the list is about writing here I go.

1.   I want to view the food that I eat with a long-term eye. It’s far too easy for me to eat the whatever and regret it, sometimes physically, later. My blood sugar fluctuates and I feel ill; my weight fluctuates and I feel discouraged. I deserve to be treated better than that. This is my health we’re talking about- I want to take that seriously. In the year 2014 I want to lose 50 more pounds.
2.      I’ve figured out a system to read my Bible on workdays, but I want to broaden that to every day. It feels dumb to need a system for this, but this list is about realism, not what should or ought be.
3.     Writing more is about so much more than just writing. I want to have thoughts, to cultivate my thoughts and I want to be diligent to take the time to take care of myself by putting those thoughts down. Writing is how I maintain my mental and emotional health yet it’s the first thing I don’t do when I start to feel stressed and overwhelmed. That’s dumb and needs to change. Yesterday Jonathan and I set up a writing nook in the basement for me. I filled the table with things that make me feel creative (mostly notebooks), a little lamp, a candle made by none other than Crystal Ben-Ezra all within easy reach of an outlet for my computer. The idea is a haven, a place dedicated to me taking care of me. Hopefully you all will get to benefit by that, too.
4.     I have had an idea for another tattoo. I think 2014 is the year for it.
5.      I plan on reading 24 new books this year. The operative word here is ‘new’. It’s very easy for me to get stuck in a rut of books I know and love which is fun, but doesn’t help with that cultivating thoughts thing. Hence, 24 new books and, of course, I will have to write about them when I’m through.

That’s five. Five seems like a good number.

Just to be clear, with you all and myself, I’m not writing this list out for anyone to feel compelled to hold me accountable. I’m writing this list and putting it out into the world so that it will feel real, so that I can look it over again and realize how much this year is going to be about self-care.

I hope your 2013 was good to you. May your 2014 be amazing.